Emily Post's Netiquette - Who's the next Emily?

Last night at Chili's I watched the elementary student at the table next to me play on his iPad throughout dinner. He was perfectly quiet and completely engaged - but never interacted with his family. I was intrigued until I was  distracted by the older lady having a conversation on her cell phone with one of her grandbabies.  We'd call her a loud-talker! I couldn't see the faces of her table mates. They were mostly looking down, and I think one was actually crawling under the table!

In a great conversation this morning with other district administrators, the potential for declining social skills because of the intense technology focus arose. I've actually thought about this; I'm not completely afraid.

I have horrible phone etiquette. I know I do, but I daily continue to misbehave with my phone. No, I'm not sexting or bullying; I'm not visiting inappropriate sites or even texting and driving. Instead, I answer the phone in a public place, talk while I am checking out, text at the table, look at my phone at a red light, text my kids upstairs rather than go up there, check my twitter feed while I should be listening to a friend… you get the picture. Now, here's what is funny. I don't wear white after Labor Day or before Easter. I wait to eat until everyone is served. I put my napkin in my lap. I even use the correct fork and say "Yes, ma'am" and "No, ma'am.
So, why don't I have appropriate digital etiquette?
Well, the digital age is new to me. I am learning constantly. It's difficult to familiarize yourself with a device AND with the appropriate social expectations - especially when we don't know them! I believe that as our digital native children grow, they will develop and respect expectations. They will raise their children to monitor their time online, say "Yes, ma'am," put the phone away at times, open the door for others, never text and drive, check social media periodically… They will have seen the err of our ways, and they will raise socially appropriate natives.
We didn't because the rules are being developed around us - as we speak. How could I have taught my kids about twitter or Facebook when I was just figuring them out myself?!
My children will not be social sloths. They'll be fine.
Emily Post may not be around, but someone out there is taking her legacy into the 21st Century. Once netiquette is known and expected, like other adults, I'll get it too!
Until then, this guest speaker sounds like he's finishing up, and I need to check my email!

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Finding that OneWORD - BALANCE

Balance. That's hard for educators. Because we accept responsibilities that actually require 24/7/365 attention, balance is often unattainable. Juggling your own family and the responsibilities of parenting your own children can be overwhelming in itself. Now, add 22 smiling faces (or many, many more for some grades.) Add the baggage of those students, the personalities or their parents, the stress of state testing, the burden of differentiating curriculum for each child, the fact that many go home to empty homes, some come with empty stomachs, and don't forget the key to success is building relationships with each of these children. Oh, and remember, you need to become a 21st century teacher, grade papers for every child in every subject area in a timely manner, prepare for the next day's lesson, post grades and respond to every email within 24 hours. Meanwhile, you pull teeth, apply band-aids, wipe tears, find lost jackets, open milk cartons and check for lice. I could go on, but that isn't the point.
See, balance. I've already lost it.
Balance. It's hard for educators. As a principal, (who is kinda wound tightly and thrives on innovation and spontaneity) I see the most amazing staff taking risks and really integrating te
chnology seamlessly while embedding digital citizenship and encouraging creative, collaborative thinking. However, I haven't "mandated" anything new this year. We need to move forward with PLC's. We need to train in PBL.
But, they (my awesome staff) are so happy. They are thriving. They are getting out of their boxes and exploring. The kids are learning. They are happy.  They are engaged. They are learning.
This is the first point in my career as a principal where I have not been "pushing" something down on them. We've juggled balanced literacy, thinking maps, a plethora of math programs, all kinds of technology competencies, miscellaneous grants, a complete renovation, clubs for every student, a building-wide mentoring program, required community service for every child, data, a multitude of state standards changing, and a complete transformation in education - ouch, forgot that balance.
Bottom line, right now, I am just asking that they teach - and teach well. And, they are.
My struggle with balance though is making sure we are never stagnant, that we are moving forward and growing, but we also take time to actually teach, and teach well. We have to have time to look at what we are doing and reflect on how we can continue to improve. Sometimes, we just have to breathe.
Of course, it probably needs to be a short breath. We have a ton to do and an enormous task at hand to accomplish.
Hmmm, juggling while trying to balance, yep, that makes me a clown. I guess that's okay - as long as this clown makes everyone smile and doesn't drop anything. Of course, clowns have to breathe too.